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Sit Down God… I’m Angry


22nd December 2012 Christian Books 23 Comments

Pastor R. F. Smith, in this personal account of the death of his son, admits his anger at God, relates the long journey of dealing with this anger, and details the process of making a pilgrimage to the place where he could live, work, and love again.


Sit Down God… I’m Angry










  • 23 responses to "Sit Down God… I’m Angry"

  • neopolitan
    4:55 on December 22nd, 2012
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    The author not only relates his experiences as a parent but as a pastor also. The book is good to use as a gift to parents who have lost a child and also to a pastor, chaplain or other person who counsels those in times of grief.

  • davidvincent
    5:17 on December 22nd, 2012
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    I have read countless numbers of books about the loss of a child.Many of them become repetitious. The books written by grieving parents are often a catharsis and helpful to them, but are not necessarily guides for others.
    This book is a combination of careful research and parent stories. It is honest and hopeful.
    It is one of the few books which talks in depth about siblings and how a family can become dysfuntional and gently offers advice.
    This – and the book, A Broken Heart Still Beats – if you are literary – are the two books which helped me the most, and I would recommend them highly.
    The Worst Loss is the book which I pass on to parents and families new to their grief and I am careful in my choice because those of us who have lost children know how vunerable we were.
    It’s a five star.

  • Amiee Kobza
    6:40 on December 22nd, 2012
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    Since losing my daughter 2 years ago, I have read many,many books on the subject of grief. Dr. Smith’s book is at the top of the list! He gave me the permission I needed to be angry at God..he let me know that that was okay, and that I was okay. He showed me in such a human way that he too felt as I did when he lost his son, and that the pain of losing a child never goes away, all we can do is hope to learn to live with it. I highly recommend this book to anyone who has lost a child, and also to those close to someone who has suffered this tragedy in their lives.

  • Monarky
    9:39 on December 22nd, 2012
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    In Smith’s book, he shares the story of his 17 year old son’s death and his response to the death. The book is gripping and emotional.

    Dr. Smith gives people permission to be angry with God and to express that anger. He makes anger over loss seem acceptable by showing that God was angry when Jesus died. Expressing anger to God is vital for healing and for keeping the relationship with God vibrant.

    The book outlines a few strategies for dealing with loss and for assisting those who are dealing with loss.

    I highly recommend this book to all pastors and counsellors. Those who have experienced a significant loss may also find the book helpful.

  • twins.fan
    11:58 on December 22nd, 2012
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    I bought this book right after my daughter was killed in an auto accident. It helped me to understand the feelings I was experiencing. It also helped me deal with physical signs of grief as well as the mental stresses. I would recommend this book be read during the first 6 mths. after the death of a child because it deals greatly with the things that will occur in that first year of grieving.

  • Elizebeth Tu
    13:39 on December 22nd, 2012
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    The Worst Loss is written in clear language. It uses the words & stories of real people in many different situations, who share this loss. It helps give better parameters about the grieving & mourning that happens around this loss. I read it first just for myself, to better know what is going on with dear friends who have lost a child. I recommend it to anyone who wants to understand, or who must survive, the loss of a child.

  • mainstguy
    17:30 on December 22nd, 2012
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    The Worst Loss helped my husband and I when we lost our 26 year old son, who died at home from a kidney infection. My husband and I performed CPR before EMS arrived. I started reading this book the month after Dyron’s death. It helped me to understand why I was having the feelings I was having. It made me feel better to know that I wasn’t losing my mind, for I could remember nothing and was terribly disorganized. This book gave me an anchor.
    It also points out to parents to be aware of the children who have survived. It was truly the only book I needed to read out of the ten I bought.
    I still have not read the last chapter. I have tried often, but I cry and cannot turn the page. I know I will read it when it is time.

  • bilques smith
    19:01 on December 22nd, 2012
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    Having lost our precious 18 yr old son Jacob who was a solid christian young man. And then to read this book I could have been reading about my own son! A Pastor writes this story and it is honest and so very accurate of the deep pain and anger at God that is so normal for any parent who suddenly loses a child. But to have a Pastor tell it makes it feel easier for me to say, ” Yes, I am angry and I feel betrayed and where are you God? ” God is a big God and can take our anger and can heal us and that is what this author reminds us, as he shares his vivid account of his own precious son.

  • reggie
    23:01 on December 22nd, 2012
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    I work with pediatric oncology patients and their families and came across this book. I have recommended it to many many people,parents who have lost children as well as professionals. The overwhelming response is positive, that this is possibly one of the best books on the subject. However, this is not a book to give a newly bereaved parent/family. Some of the book can be too realistic at first. From the perspective of someone who works with bereaved parents and siblings this book is an excellent guide

  • re: Steven
    1:57 on December 23rd, 2012
    Reply to comment

    As a bereaved parent I have read dozens of books on the subject over the past ten years. This is the best all-around book I have found! The effects of losing a child on a mother, a father, siblings, the marriage relationship, etc. are covered concisely with great sensitivity and insight from the author’s broad experience working with bereaved families. It is a book that can be read immediately following the death and then periodically as one moves through the long and excruciating grief process.

  • Mike Ball
    3:59 on December 23rd, 2012
    Reply to comment

    This is an excellent book for anyone dealing with the loss of a loved one. It is written by a Pastor who loses his 18 year old son in a water skiing accident and records his journey through the ensuing grief. It is well written and an excellent guide for those suffering with grief. I first obtained the book in a Church Library where I was visiting soon after my husband and mother passed away. I later purchased a copy for my own personal library. I most recently purchased another copy for the Church Library where I am currently a member. I highly recommend it!

  • Mig Bistake
    8:27 on December 23rd, 2012
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    Very good must read if you have gone through a family loss. It may be difficult for the Mother of a child. As an outsider it was very good for me as the step father.

  • i heading left
    13:04 on December 23rd, 2012
    Reply to comment

    This is an excellent book for a person that has experienced the death of a child or going through some kind of grieving process. I have given this book to several people dealing with loss. R.F. Smith helps people who have experienced the loss of a loved one, whether tragically or unexpectedly, deal with emotions that sometimes they can’t yet identify. “Sit Down God, I’m Angry” helps us realize that God can work through tragic situations to bring about good, even though it doesn’t minimize the pain and the loss.

  • Eric O'Connell
    14:34 on December 23rd, 2012
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    I read this wonderful treatise in the face of a loss of a beloved nephew. As an Emergency Physician who occasionally encounters death of children, I will recommend (indeed I’ll buy the book) for families grieving the loss of a child. It has helped me understand the varied emotions and coping mechanisms that accompany these tragedies. I have read several books dealing with the same topic and this is, on any basis of comparison, the best.

  • Uday Varma
    15:18 on December 23rd, 2012
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    The loss of a child completely and permanently alters the lives of the child’s parents and siblings. Barbara discusses the work of grief and its affect on the parents’ relationship, the surviving children, and family life. Families who have experienced the death of a child through stillbirth, infant death, terminal illness, sudden death, murder or suicide share their stories. Each situation has a unique affect on the family and how they grieve for their child. This book can help the bereaved parents to recognize and understand their great loss.

  • Julieta Gracie
    18:12 on December 23rd, 2012
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    My mother and son were killed in an automobile accident in June of 2000. Since that time, I have read over a dozen books on grieving. Most of the books I have read on coping with the death of a child were written by parents who had lost a child themselves. The author of this book has not suffered the loss of a child herself, but it is very evident that she has counseled many who have. This book is well worth reading, and I recommend it highly.

  • Andy Jenkinsn
    19:54 on December 23rd, 2012
    Reply to comment

    I am from Huntington, WV and I have met Dr. Smith, author of this book. It is a book for everyone, not just for those people who have lost a child. He assures parents who have lost a child that they will walk again, but always with a limp. If you have ever asked the question, “Why did God let this happen?”, then read this book. A very spiritual book…..a true story written by a minister that all of a sudden found himself very angry with God….and how God gave him the strength to heal. But just as important, it is about the choices that a person must make in order to heal himself.

  • Not eaxctly
    21:34 on December 23rd, 2012
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    My son died in a dirt bike accident 3 months ago and I am still finding it hard to breathe let alone read. I loved this book. Barbara’s chapter on what it’s like to lose a sibling helped me to know how to be as present as possible for my other children so they didn’t feel like they had lost a mother too. We read the chapter on sibling loss together and individually. The small comforts that I found (when there seems to be no comfort at all)were knowing that others had hurt as deeply and acutely as I and had made it through because the book not only shares others stories of grief but has helpful guides in how to walk through this lonely process knowing that you are not alone.

  • BlackPad Case
    0:26 on December 24th, 2012
    Reply to comment

    This is a wonderful book. I bought it for my mom for Christmas. She read it in 2 days then passed it on to me. I, too, read it in 2 days. It is a quick read with a phenomenal message. Reading about how the author dealt with his intense anger at God over the death of his son showed me that God is definitely big enough to handle all of our emotions. I would definitely recommend this book to anyone who is experiencing a tragic loss. And, although I, personally, have not suffered such a tragedy, I still found this an extremely helpful book in learning to trust GOD with ALL my feelings and finding my strength and comfort in Him.

  • Buck Jones
    5:30 on December 24th, 2012
    Reply to comment

    I lost my beloved son four months ago in a motorcycle accident. He was 24 years old. I have read 7 different grief books written for bereaved parents. This book, The Worst Loss, is by far the best I have read. It is so hopeful, and describes very gently what grief is like for parents. I saw myself in the pages, over and over, and it was the most comforting book I have encountered. The book is well organized, taking you through the stages of grief and along the way, it describes what other parents have gone through and what they have found helpful to help themselves move through their grief. It also stresses that we each have our own timetable for grief and to not rush yourself, nor let anyone rush you through your grief.

    Out of the all the grief books I’ve read, this book, and A Broken Heart Still Beats, are the only books I’m going to keep, as a reference, or to read again. A Broken Heart Still Beats is comforting in a different way, it is not a guide for grief like The Worst Loss, it is a compilation of literary writings on loss of children and it is beautiful.

  • Jayzn Johns
    7:24 on December 24th, 2012
    Reply to comment

    This is an excellent resource for those who have suffered such a horrible loss. The information that Ms Rosof shares is spot on. Although she has not suffered this loss personally, her findings are from families that have and she’s captured the dynamics that happen in a family as a result of the unfortunate and tragic death of a child really well. Sherry-Lynn Swan, Bermuda.The Worst Loss: How Families Heal from the Death of a Child

  • argu me
    11:55 on December 24th, 2012
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    Goe to the point- the worst loss. when ready read this one- doesn’t preach or dictate. Was a little helpful in my opinion

  • Gordon Shumway
    16:29 on December 24th, 2012
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    I was given this book nine years ago after my 16 year old daughter was killed in a car accident. Of all the books I’ve read, this one is the best help. I knew the spiritual reality surrounding her death, and I knew the stages of grief, but I was helped so much by the straight forward almost clinical description of the feelings, fears, emotions, and the utter pain of such a powerful grief.

    Through the years since Morgan’s death, I have given copies of this book to other parents who have lost a child. All agree that this wonderful piece has helped them understand the rollercoaster grief ride and has helped their families know what to say and how to deal with such a heavy burden as the loss of a child.

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